Call It Cracker

Odd title for this post eh?
See, I have a tendency to call people a cracker to their face. No harm meant by it, it usually gets a laugh because of the way I say it. I was raised in the South, so I can put that there Redneck twang in my voice. But trust me, people think I look like an Asian for some odd reason, I am no Redneck.
The name to me in itself is funny. Just say it with some Southern style and you might get the point.
Now for some laughs. You know how a lot of black guys wear their shorts or pants down below their ugly acne smattered butts? I came up with a plan. Next time you see one, try to get a little water gun, and fill it with something like coffee and spray that moonshine. Of course, without being caught. This way, next time his shirt flaps up in the wind, he looks like he had a little, "accident." Or just throw a firecracker in there and light his ass up!.
And what is the deal with them calling each other n*****s? Heck, if I called them that, you would either see a half naked white guy running down the street, or a fight. Being my luck, I would be running by and some old fart see me and think I was streaking and here come the red and blue lights.
I have a funny story as well. My cousin and I were shopping around in the Wal-Mart some months back, and we needed to use the restroom. I had to take a dump while my cousin just needed to do number 1. (He is 13 btw) Some old guy comes in the stall next to me, and procedes to take his shoes off. I figured maybe it was a concnetration issue and taking his shoes off made him feel more at home. But then I got creeped as he proceeded to take off his pants. You can't help but see it when the stall divider is off the ground a foot. I started thinking, is he in here to pleasure himself? Or is he just that much a freak? Of course, after pants, came off the underwear. Now after being freaked out, I hadn't paid much attention to my droppage, and all of a sudden I laid the biggest fart you ever heard. It was like atomic. And I kid you not, that old dude slid his clothes right back on and got the heck out of there. I mean, I had another guy on my right, and a dude at the urinal, so I waited to get out till there were gone. I guess gas was not a good theme for him. Yay for random fart putting the breaks on a pervert!