hi... this post will be 'bout assburger syndrome.
Asperger's has become a fad for those seeking to garner attention unto themselves. In the fine, hallowed tradition of disease whores everywhere, many of today's youth expertly design a disease which kills two birds with one stone by 1) assuming others are born normal rather than work at it, giving the aspie an excuse not to make an effort to develop social skills, and 2) assuming they were born smart, rather than merely having had more exposure to books and computers because no one wanted to be around them. Interestingly, teh Aspers bucks this trend, by substituting a condition invented as a joke by an actual doctor for one created by the self-diagnosed, because teh Aspers lack imagination and are unsuited to invent their own disease like any self respecting loser would. Naturally, like any other medical condition, it is widely believed that autism can be fixed simply through heavy medications or a good slap upside the head. This belief is erroneous and experts are unanimous in their view that a bullet is only true panacea for sufferers. Experts advise that if you suffer from teh Aspers, the only plausible solution is to immediately administer a bullet to the head of the offending retard. Which is unfortunate, considering all of \b\ is cursed with Assmyburgerifyouplease and still they continue fagging up the Republican Party.
The official Fail blog.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Sort Metallisk Er Det Lort
From the wise council: "Despite the name, black metal is not heavy metal music made by niggers. Black metal is actually an offshoot of heavy metal that was developed at least 100 years ago in Norway by Satanist faggoths who decided that death metal wasn't gay enough. The guttural vocals of death metal were stretched to a higher pitch so that, instead of sounding like a man choking on semen, they sounded like the Wicked Witch of the West choking on semen, occasionally complemented by weak, half-assed monk chants. Typical trailer-trash metal clothes were thrown out in favor of bondage gear, black leather, spikes, and exaggerated goth facepaint that black metallers say is uniquely black metal but was actually pioneered by KISS 30 years ago. These articles are usually purchased at Hot Topic, although black metal musicians will never admit it. The irritating, grungy sound of death metal was obliterated, reduced to an equally irritating, thin screeching of tremolo picked guitars, no bass whatsoever, and helicopter drumming. Black metal lyrics have a diversity of topics from Satan to nature to Vikings to winter to Vikings in winter to Satanic nature to Satanic Vikings in winter to Satanic Vikings admiring nature in winter. Although not very popular during the genre's heyday due to the emphasis on "kvlt" (avoiding commercial success by any means possible, often by making your music suck really, really hard), it has recently become immensely popular among 13-year-old boys on the internets. "
Like it says in the title, Black Metal Is The Shit!
* Find friends who have long hair. If you can't,Get a trash can for the drums and $50 amp from the pawnshop and shitty electric guitar and use a Karaoke microphone.
* Form a "band", be sure to include a Christianity reference in your name.If not use this Band Name Generator
* Gangrape some nuns.
Like it says in the title, Black Metal Is The Shit!
Well, being a Deathcore / Metalcore supporter I don't really get along with hardout Black Metalist's, well... most of the time it's because they are abusing me for listening to Suicide Silence or Carnifex because they are pussy scene deathcore, or i'm going on youtube and laughing at how lame the Norwegian black metal clips are... I mean take a look at this you will probably die of laughter and btw these are serious black metal music video's.
Why Black Metalist's are more hardcore than Metalcore / Hard Rock, etc. supporters.
They play guitar in knee deep water, now that is a great way to suicide.
They wear scary clothes and have freaky face paint.
Black metalists are given the wrong impression, they are all nice people and you are just jealous...
Black Metalists are posess many powers, they are magicians:
How to become a black metalist:
* Find friends who have long hair. If you can't,Get a trash can for the drums and $50 amp from the pawnshop and shitty electric guitar and use a Karaoke microphone.
* Form a "band", be sure to include a Christianity reference in your name.If not use this Band Name Generator
* Gangrape some nuns.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Odd World
You know, from going back and forth to town and home, growing up, there are some things I have learned about people.
You have a variety of them. Jerks, bums, courteous, pushy, slow, idiotic, freaks etc.
Lol, my favorite would have to be the blowhards. I love it when I hear some douchebag kid standing in the electronics in a store, and he is rattling his jaw like he knows everything about a radio, and he is bluffing his way through after he just read the blasted info on the thing. It is so funny.
Then you have the cool walk, you know that walk where you look like a truck just ran over you and your are limping with style? Lol, that is messed up. One leg doesn't bend, and the other bends too much, heck, slap a cast on it already.
Not to bring them down, but the fat folks, they can be seriously funny. They laugh at anything, and in turn, they make an idiot out of themselves and it causes you to laugh. You hold back until you can get away. Ever been sandwiched between human walls? Marshmallow creamstyle.
Take care folks.
You have a variety of them. Jerks, bums, courteous, pushy, slow, idiotic, freaks etc.
Lol, my favorite would have to be the blowhards. I love it when I hear some douchebag kid standing in the electronics in a store, and he is rattling his jaw like he knows everything about a radio, and he is bluffing his way through after he just read the blasted info on the thing. It is so funny.
Then you have the cool walk, you know that walk where you look like a truck just ran over you and your are limping with style? Lol, that is messed up. One leg doesn't bend, and the other bends too much, heck, slap a cast on it already.
Not to bring them down, but the fat folks, they can be seriously funny. They laugh at anything, and in turn, they make an idiot out of themselves and it causes you to laugh. You hold back until you can get away. Ever been sandwiched between human walls? Marshmallow creamstyle.
Take care folks.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Call It Cracker
Odd title for this post eh?
See, I have a tendency to call people a cracker to their face. No harm meant by it, it usually gets a laugh because of the way I say it. I was raised in the South, so I can put that there Redneck twang in my voice. But trust me, people think I look like an Asian for some odd reason, I am no Redneck.
The name to me in itself is funny. Just say it with some Southern style and you might get the point.
Now for some laughs. You know how a lot of black guys wear their shorts or pants down below their ugly acne smattered butts? I came up with a plan. Next time you see one, try to get a little water gun, and fill it with something like coffee and spray that moonshine. Of course, without being caught. This way, next time his shirt flaps up in the wind, he looks like he had a little, "accident." Or just throw a firecracker in there and light his ass up!.
And what is the deal with them calling each other n*****s? Heck, if I called them that, you would either see a half naked white guy running down the street, or a fight. Being my luck, I would be running by and some old fart see me and think I was streaking and here come the red and blue lights.
I have a funny story as well. My cousin and I were shopping around in the Wal-Mart some months back, and we needed to use the restroom. I had to take a dump while my cousin just needed to do number 1. (He is 13 btw) Some old guy comes in the stall next to me, and procedes to take his shoes off. I figured maybe it was a concnetration issue and taking his shoes off made him feel more at home. But then I got creeped as he proceeded to take off his pants. You can't help but see it when the stall divider is off the ground a foot. I started thinking, is he in here to pleasure himself? Or is he just that much a freak? Of course, after pants, came off the underwear. Now after being freaked out, I hadn't paid much attention to my droppage, and all of a sudden I laid the biggest fart you ever heard. It was like atomic. And I kid you not, that old dude slid his clothes right back on and got the heck out of there. I mean, I had another guy on my right, and a dude at the urinal, so I waited to get out till there were gone. I guess gas was not a good theme for him. Yay for random fart putting the breaks on a pervert!
See, I have a tendency to call people a cracker to their face. No harm meant by it, it usually gets a laugh because of the way I say it. I was raised in the South, so I can put that there Redneck twang in my voice. But trust me, people think I look like an Asian for some odd reason, I am no Redneck.
The name to me in itself is funny. Just say it with some Southern style and you might get the point.
Now for some laughs. You know how a lot of black guys wear their shorts or pants down below their ugly acne smattered butts? I came up with a plan. Next time you see one, try to get a little water gun, and fill it with something like coffee and spray that moonshine. Of course, without being caught. This way, next time his shirt flaps up in the wind, he looks like he had a little, "accident." Or just throw a firecracker in there and light his ass up!.
And what is the deal with them calling each other n*****s? Heck, if I called them that, you would either see a half naked white guy running down the street, or a fight. Being my luck, I would be running by and some old fart see me and think I was streaking and here come the red and blue lights.
I have a funny story as well. My cousin and I were shopping around in the Wal-Mart some months back, and we needed to use the restroom. I had to take a dump while my cousin just needed to do number 1. (He is 13 btw) Some old guy comes in the stall next to me, and procedes to take his shoes off. I figured maybe it was a concnetration issue and taking his shoes off made him feel more at home. But then I got creeped as he proceeded to take off his pants. You can't help but see it when the stall divider is off the ground a foot. I started thinking, is he in here to pleasure himself? Or is he just that much a freak? Of course, after pants, came off the underwear. Now after being freaked out, I hadn't paid much attention to my droppage, and all of a sudden I laid the biggest fart you ever heard. It was like atomic. And I kid you not, that old dude slid his clothes right back on and got the heck out of there. I mean, I had another guy on my right, and a dude at the urinal, so I waited to get out till there were gone. I guess gas was not a good theme for him. Yay for random fart putting the breaks on a pervert!
Friday, April 24, 2009
Slipknot's new album "All Hope Is Gone" - A break from all the lulz.
Alright, this post is dedicated to having a break from all the non-serious "lulz" posts, i'm gonna take this time to introduce you to the soft side of the Nu Metal band, Slipknot with a small insight on how the new album "All Hope Is Gone" impacted on fans and non-fans alike.
The New Album Release.
When the single came out, with 2 songs "Psychosocial" and "All Hope Is Gone" fans (or just me) were blown away by the heaviness in the guitaring in the All Hope Is Gone track, and with Psychosocial it was definately a great video to introduce the new masks of the band members, the song was kickass and even sounded like it had a bit of a breakdown in there somewhere, which is fuckin' awesome, and then they released the full album, and blew everyone away with their extremely soft song Snuff and other great songs like Dead Memories & Sulfur.
The New Music Video's.
Well so far there are 3 new videos for the songs Psychosocial, Dead Memories & Sulfur, I'm not to sure if they will make any more but I doubt it, here are the videos. Enjoy, and thanks for reading Fried Pwnata's.
Psychosocial: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NrO83v6X8lI&NR=1
Dead Memories: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9IixYR_p-4
Sulfur: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0922eB_Fpjg
The New Album Release.
When the single came out, with 2 songs "Psychosocial" and "All Hope Is Gone" fans (or just me) were blown away by the heaviness in the guitaring in the All Hope Is Gone track, and with Psychosocial it was definately a great video to introduce the new masks of the band members, the song was kickass and even sounded like it had a bit of a breakdown in there somewhere, which is fuckin' awesome, and then they released the full album, and blew everyone away with their extremely soft song Snuff and other great songs like Dead Memories & Sulfur.
The New Music Video's.
Well so far there are 3 new videos for the songs Psychosocial, Dead Memories & Sulfur, I'm not to sure if they will make any more but I doubt it, here are the videos. Enjoy, and thanks for reading Fried Pwnata's.
Psychosocial: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NrO83v6X8lI&NR=1
Dead Memories: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9IixYR_p-4
Sulfur: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0922eB_Fpjg
I Am Your Future
Hello to all the bloggers out there, and anyone who reads this.
Yeah, I said I am your future. Why? Because I pwn. And if you don't know what pwn means, rewind 2 years ago when it caught on. Or catch the next train to helpmeville. lol
All joking aside, I am glad to be here. I have become good friends with It Made Me, or as I call him back at Pwnem, MME.
I have been going to forums for years. My very first forum ended up being run by Brits, and good Lord were they obnoxious and rude. It is times like that, I am glad I am an American. But anyways, back at my old forums, I had a nemesis with a bad name. A really bad name. Lupus. I didn't know what it was until I had researched it, and that started it for me. I have been a jerk ever since. No no, I kid. Oooh come on stop looking at me like that. I didn't tease him, all the time. ;)
I love video games, I have been buying my own games for about 4 years. I have a Wii and I play it the most. Although I am a bit disappointed with it in terms of game selections.
I am a nice guy once you get to know me, and I have a great time back at Pwnem with all my fellow bros and h.....I better not use that word....
I am a believer in Christ, but that doesn't make me boring. Heck, I just wrote a lot and didn't realize it till now.
Cutting to the chase, you can call me Deadpool or DP, whatever you like. I am here to stay and help rock this blog.
Come on over and join me and MME at www.pwnem.com
;)
My secret eyeball of death is watching you, if you don't go to Pwnem, it will look at you, and try to be very scary in the process. Hehe.
Yeah, I said I am your future. Why? Because I pwn. And if you don't know what pwn means, rewind 2 years ago when it caught on. Or catch the next train to helpmeville. lol
All joking aside, I am glad to be here. I have become good friends with It Made Me, or as I call him back at Pwnem, MME.
I have been going to forums for years. My very first forum ended up being run by Brits, and good Lord were they obnoxious and rude. It is times like that, I am glad I am an American. But anyways, back at my old forums, I had a nemesis with a bad name. A really bad name. Lupus. I didn't know what it was until I had researched it, and that started it for me. I have been a jerk ever since. No no, I kid. Oooh come on stop looking at me like that. I didn't tease him, all the time. ;)
I love video games, I have been buying my own games for about 4 years. I have a Wii and I play it the most. Although I am a bit disappointed with it in terms of game selections.
I am a nice guy once you get to know me, and I have a great time back at Pwnem with all my fellow bros and h.....I better not use that word....
I am a believer in Christ, but that doesn't make me boring. Heck, I just wrote a lot and didn't realize it till now.
Cutting to the chase, you can call me Deadpool or DP, whatever you like. I am here to stay and help rock this blog.
Come on over and join me and MME at www.pwnem.com
;)
My secret eyeball of death is watching you, if you don't go to Pwnem, it will look at you, and try to be very scary in the process. Hehe.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
The Truth About Jesus
Jesus was a socialist Jew from England (see William Blake), who didn't live over two thousand years ago. He was featured as a Mary Sue character in a shitty Jewish slashfic called The Bible, even though all he did was troll on ppl IRL, and eventually got killed for pissing everybody off. He had many fanbois over the years, and was the inspiration for the Crusades, the Spanish Inquisition, and the Holocaust. Jesus is also personally responsible for every sports championship ever. Regardless of his existence or no, he proved to be the greatest troll to ever grace the presence of Jews, Muslims, Scientologists, Gaytheists and Fagnostics.
He was also a negro, and was in the black power.
He was also a lion!
Now this is a story all about how my Life got flipped turned upside down And I'd like to take a minute just sit right there I'll tell you how I become the prince of a town called Bethlehem In west Jerusalem born and raised On the playground is where I spent most of my days Chillin' out, maxin', relaxin', all cool And all converting some Hebrews outside of the school When a couple of guys they were up to no good They tried to nail me to a cross of wood. I got in one little fight and my mom got scared And said, "You're going on a 26 year absence somewhere” I whistled for a cab and when it came near The license plate said God and it had dice in the mirror If anything I could say that this cab was rare But I thought, "Nah, forget it. Yo home to God's heir!" I pulled up to the temple about 7 or 8 And I yelled to the cabby yo holmes smell ya later Looked at my kingdom I was finally used To sit on my throne as the prince of the Jews.
He was also a negro, and was in the black power.
He was also a lion!
Now this is a story all about how my Life got flipped turned upside down And I'd like to take a minute just sit right there I'll tell you how I become the prince of a town called Bethlehem In west Jerusalem born and raised On the playground is where I spent most of my days Chillin' out, maxin', relaxin', all cool And all converting some Hebrews outside of the school When a couple of guys they were up to no good They tried to nail me to a cross of wood. I got in one little fight and my mom got scared And said, "You're going on a 26 year absence somewhere” I whistled for a cab and when it came near The license plate said God and it had dice in the mirror If anything I could say that this cab was rare But I thought, "Nah, forget it. Yo home to God's heir!" I pulled up to the temple about 7 or 8 And I yelled to the cabby yo holmes smell ya later Looked at my kingdom I was finally used To sit on my throne as the prince of the Jews.
Pwnata RPG Game!
Myself and my friend Cotton Face have been working on a forum with heaps of other stuff to do, such as play an RPG and even earn gold for it by posting on the forums... we are still editing the script to suit ourselves so report anything you think should be edited.
www.z3.invisionfree.com/pwnata
If you don't know what a RPG is, here's an explanation.
"RPGs or role-playing games are terms used to describe video games that require unfathomable amounts of self-loathing, body fat, and sexual abuse, but require no actual skillz other than spending hours and hours leveling up to defeat the impossible hidden boss of a gay-ass furry themed alternate universe. The main draw of RPGs is that they're supposed to put the player into the role of somebody else, meaning they're only played by those whose real life existences suck so much that they need to pretend to be someone else. "
www.z3.invisionfree.com/pwnata
If you don't know what a RPG is, here's an explanation.
"RPGs or role-playing games are terms used to describe video games that require unfathomable amounts of self-loathing, body fat, and sexual abuse, but require no actual skillz other than spending hours and hours leveling up to defeat the impossible hidden boss of a gay-ass furry themed alternate universe. The main draw of RPGs is that they're supposed to put the player into the role of somebody else, meaning they're only played by those whose real life existences suck so much that they need to pretend to be someone else. "
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Fried Pwnata's - Now Pwning Bebo!
Yes, that is right... Pwnata is now the next hottest thing besides Emo's and ugly kids on Bebo! Well.. not really, since currently the group has 0 views, but I have sent out mass invites to over 100 people so i'm sure we'll get a few views shortly, I would appreciate your support on the group if you use Bebo, the Pwnata bebo page address is: http://www.pwnata.bebo.com/
Scary huh?
Anyway, since we are talking about Bebo I thought I'd give you a bit of a lecture about these parasite social networks, basically, the aim of Bebo is to sign up and get over 200 friends and you also have to make sure you have lots of "Luv" anything below 100 is NOOB and means your not cool or emo.
Emo's run bebo, but they are also being murdered by it... how dreadfull!
Image from Encyclopedia Dramatica.
I think when your on the verge of killing yourself over some Bebo comments, you know the addiction is deadly.
Other posts related to Bebo: Why Bebo Sucks
Scary huh?
Anyway, since we are talking about Bebo I thought I'd give you a bit of a lecture about these parasite social networks, basically, the aim of Bebo is to sign up and get over 200 friends and you also have to make sure you have lots of "Luv" anything below 100 is NOOB and means your not cool or emo.
Emo's run bebo, but they are also being murdered by it... how dreadfull!
Image from Encyclopedia Dramatica.
I think when your on the verge of killing yourself over some Bebo comments, you know the addiction is deadly.
Other posts related to Bebo: Why Bebo Sucks
Monday, April 20, 2009
Postage Laughage Motangehage
Posts are getting slack, and now I've been getting crap... I've even resorted to making the first sentence rhyme... what a jackass.
Anyway I want to share some gayness with you, if you like it then its not gay, but if you don't like it then it is gay.. that's how it works.
I've been harassed by an ugly Asian and a crazy African man... they're trying to force me into making a good, blog-worthy post that will make my viewers go WOW and keep returning, but i told them to get fucked...
Anyway I'm gonna recite to you a lovely story of randoms, and if you don't like it then YOU - CAN - GET - THE - FUCK - OUT!! Thanks :)
The Farmers Law
One weekend a lawyer from New York decided to go bird hunting in Vermont. The lawyer drove to Vermont and found a good hunting spot near a farm. The lawyer sees a bird, shoots it and watches fall to the ground on the other side of the barns fence.
The lawyer, thinking to himself that's my bird I have to go get it, climbs the fence retrieves the bird and climbs back. Just as he gets back over the farmer comes up to him and says, "give me my bird." The lawyer says to him " your bird no no no I shot this bird it is mine."
"No" says the farmer,"it landed on my property it is mine." "Look" says the lawyer, "I am a lawyer, I will sue you , you will lose and I will get the duck." "No" says the farmer, "that's not how we do it here in Vermont, we use the three kick rule."
"Ok" says the lawyer, how does that work?" "I kick you three times as hard as I can, than you kick me as hard as you an three time and we keep going until one of us gives up." "Fine" says the lawyer, "let's go." "I'll go first" says the famer. So the famer kicks layer as hard as he can in the groin.
And just as lawyer is bent over in pain the famer kicks him right in the face. now just as the lawyer is thinking what did IU get myself into the farmer kicks him in the stomach. after the lawyer gets over the agonizing pain he says ok now it's my turn. No the farmer says, "I quit you can have the duck." /end.of.story
KTHXBAI.
Tap.
Anyway I want to share some gayness with you, if you like it then its not gay, but if you don't like it then it is gay.. that's how it works.
I've been harassed by an ugly Asian and a crazy African man... they're trying to force me into making a good, blog-worthy post that will make my viewers go WOW and keep returning, but i told them to get fucked...
Anyway I'm gonna recite to you a lovely story of randoms, and if you don't like it then YOU - CAN - GET - THE - FUCK - OUT!! Thanks :)
The Farmers Law
One weekend a lawyer from New York decided to go bird hunting in Vermont. The lawyer drove to Vermont and found a good hunting spot near a farm. The lawyer sees a bird, shoots it and watches fall to the ground on the other side of the barns fence.
The lawyer, thinking to himself that's my bird I have to go get it, climbs the fence retrieves the bird and climbs back. Just as he gets back over the farmer comes up to him and says, "give me my bird." The lawyer says to him " your bird no no no I shot this bird it is mine."
"No" says the farmer,"it landed on my property it is mine." "Look" says the lawyer, "I am a lawyer, I will sue you , you will lose and I will get the duck." "No" says the farmer, "that's not how we do it here in Vermont, we use the three kick rule."
"Ok" says the lawyer, how does that work?" "I kick you three times as hard as I can, than you kick me as hard as you an three time and we keep going until one of us gives up." "Fine" says the lawyer, "let's go." "I'll go first" says the famer. So the famer kicks layer as hard as he can in the groin.
And just as lawyer is bent over in pain the famer kicks him right in the face. now just as the lawyer is thinking what did IU get myself into the farmer kicks him in the stomach. after the lawyer gets over the agonizing pain he says ok now it's my turn. No the farmer says, "I quit you can have the duck." /end.of.story
KTHXBAI.
Tap.
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