Fried Pwnata's - A blog for people that don't mind reading crap.

Cry out for a new Author!

2011-02-04T00:51:00.002+13:00

I am currently looking for another author to help me out a bit with this blog, the only requirement is that you can use the spell check function, and of course you have something to write about, whether it makes sense or not is up to you, this is Fried Pwnata's not the daily Life Of The Wounded blog.

If you are interested, PM me on PwnEm or comment on this post.

Racist Words You Use Everyday (some say without knowing)

2011-02-03T15:06:00.007+13:00

Have you ever worried that, no matter how hard you try, you'll just never be racist enough? Well, you're in luck. As it turns out, you've been unconsciously using racial slurs your entire life! Slurs like...

"Hooligan"

How it's Used:

"I was nearly killed on my drive home by a group of hooligans playing paintball on the interstate."

What You're Actually Saying:

"I was nearly killed on my drive home by a group of dirty Irish drunkards playing paintball on the interstate."

---

"Vandal"

How it's Used:

"Some vandals tagged the wall behind the local high school."

What You're Actually Saying:

"A horde of dirty godless Germans tagged the wall behind the local high school."

Hip hip Hoo-ray!

How it's Used:

"We won the little league game! Hip hip hooray!"

What You're Actually Saying:

"We won the little league game! Let's go kill some Jews!"

The Blog - Revision or Deletion!

2011-02-02T01:51:00.003+13:00

I recently returned to the magical world of the Interwebs, but I had only returned to PwnEm, the forum I called home before I left the cyber world for over a year. I forgot all about my blog and after some frustrating password retrieval I have started reviewing and renewing my blog once again, although I am still deciding whether it is worth keeping the blog or getting rid of it, I'll give it some time, but I don't like having stuff that I find pointless, so if I see no point in this blog then sayonara, Pwnata!

Mother, can I be breastfed until I am 7 years old?

2009-05-11T22:08:00.003+12:00

Notice how many fuckin' labels this blog has? if you haven't noticed.. scroll to the bottom of the blog and have a look.

Anyway, onto the topic.. my inlaw 2nd cousin named Chaz is a fuckhead, I grew up with him between age 5 - 10 and it was funny/gay/lulz/shamefull. I hated him so me and my cousin Alex would team up on him and beat him up and then he'd run inside and suck on his mums tit... YES, he was breastfed til fuckin age 7 either that or it was late into age 6... what a bloody retarded family.. I'm glad I aint related to them by blood lol.

Recently my friend's ran into Chaz at a party and he tried to beat my friends up, Chaz bottled one of my mates 7 times in the face (makes up for how many years he sucked his mums boobys) and my other mate got out of the car and smashed Chaz over the head with a bat, which was awesome!

Anyway, thought I'd share how sick some fucks are.

...retards.

I am turning 18 in a few hours!

2009-05-09T21:16:00.006+12:00

I started writing this at about 9:18, but I sat around not typing for 2 minutes so it's 9:20 now, anyway... I turn 18 soon... at 12, ha... and later on tommorow night I am going to the pub with my mum to get crunk with all the 40 year old alcoholics, yeah man... I'm gonna be livin' the life!

I dunno how becoming 18 will really effect my life, maybe I'll become more mature because I am able to do thing in the world... maybe not, eh I don't know... im a bit to tired to make a post right now, so I'll cut this one short. Ciao.

Ranting

2009-05-07T17:13:00.003+12:00

Long time no see.
None of you know what I can and cannot do, but basic plumbing, mechanics, electrical, and carpentry are my strong points. So coming up I will be helping to install a patio door, and and some new faucets. Now, getting to my important piece of this post.
I just bought some cheese. Cracker barrel cheddar cheese, and polly-o string cheese. I am a fanatic about cheese, and so is a couple of members from Pwnem. Man, it is great with about everything. The only cheese I don't like is foreign cheese that smells like it just came out of someone's butt. Yeah, French cheese, cripes.
I saw the movie X-Men Origins Wolverine, and oh my goodness it is really a piece of work. I what I mean by that, burn the damned thing. The movie is horrid. Some of the graphics were not even finished. The acting was poor, and none of the characters or places ever felt real. The only part of that movie that was even the quality of the X-Men movies, was the transformation of Wolverine into his new adamantium claws. That was the only high point of this movie. And Will.i.am, was he just a freaking joke in the whole movie? He sucked just like his dancing sucks.

But I am excited about the Transformers 2 movie, it looks awesome, and the Star Trek movie.
I know the Trek geeks are in an uproar about the movie, but I really don't care. The average Joe won't care to watch it unless it consists of guns, fighting, explosions, and sexual references along with maybe a bar scene or two.

Feminazi's - Modern female nazi syndrome

2009-05-05T14:36:00.010+12:00

Now just to let you know, feminazi's are not the most brilliant or intelligent woman on earth, but they are very fierce and will probably either deny you sex for a few weeks or beat your face to a pulp if they find out you are reading this, imagine what would happen to me though, I wrote the fucking post.. luckily I rarely get sex anyway & I am not that scared of being obliverated by a fe-man.

The most well-known Feminazi, she is so evil that she leads young black men into her office by saying she will give them money, and then sends them down a trap door in the floor and makes them wear ginger colored wigs and play scrabble & she then proceeds to breastfeed the black kids, no matter what ages they are & then feeds them mayonaise sandwiches (which a majority of the black kids soon die from) and if not, they get tucked into bed by this evil bitch and read a story written by some white ass named Rush Limbaugh.

Well all knew that Hillary was afraid of blacks.

Above you see a feminazi rally, they are aparently protesting the war but really they are saying (in subiminal messages) "WE WANT OUR CUNTS BACK" and "FUCK THE MALE DOG, THEY SHALT PERISH IN THE ABYSS OF MY PUSSY" and other revolting and threatening gestures like those two.

Fact: Feminazi's are the only woman in the world that will not adopt non-white babies, whether they are a black feminazi or not, and if they happen to have a black kid they are sent to the Hillary Clinton detention ward for unwanted black kids, weird huh?

This is the dreaded banner of the Feminazi's, they wave it around on flag poles, shave it into they're chests (yes, most feminazi's have hairy chests), they have it painted onto they're household cups and even hang them in the toilet, darn dreadfull if you ask me.

Fact: Feminazi's are actually all daughters of Adolph Hitler, bet you would never have guessed that.

Above you see the most ugliest bitch of a feminazi on earth, she runs the military department in the feminazi clan, and also does most of the man-raping and torture.
___

I hope all the men out there have managed to bare with me through this post, but like it is said "knowledge is power" and now that you have the knowledge, we must fight back! we must oppress the female slave and send her back to the kitchen, make sure you're wife/girlfriend does not step out of line at all, because it just draws her one step closer towards joining the hate-filled feminazi cult, and we don't want that, we have to be the better men and slap our bitches around!

Thankyou all!

I now leave you with an inspirational image.

Die You Troll!

2009-05-01T17:13:00.005+12:00

It has been a few days hasn't it? Well, screw you! Unless you want my foot up your rear end. Eeerrhh, wait a minute, did I just say that?
No not at all, I love my fellow bloggers with nothing but compassion. Errrr, yeah that should work!

I laugh so hard sometimes at what people have to say on places like Youtube. Comment boxes get filled with f* you and f* that. It is a freaking video, lol. People threaten each other as if they were going to drive 5 hours away to bust someone's cap. Attention hungry emos and douches. They even have text flipping the bird now. Geez. Whats next? A virtual mahcine that allows them to feel each other's punches? Actually, that is one wicked idea. I wouldn't have to get up to beat someone to a pulp, and say, I never touched the guy officer. Sweet, like candy sweet.

If ya smell,,, what my foot, and your butt is cookin'!

Anybody seen that new BK commercial? It is a bit funny. I like square buns and I cannot lie!
Ooooh, somebody stop me.
Don't you hate it when you wake up sometimes and your arm has fallen asleep because you laid on it too long? Want the secret to waking it up? Yell at it. Yeah. That happened to me this morning. I woke up, it was numb, so I sarted punching it and calling it a sissy whore. I made it look at my right hand, and told it would never amount to that. But of course it sassed me back and said: "righty is twitchy, I am the only side you can write with idiot." Ouch, I got owned by my own arm. I am going to get that douchebag one way or the other!

Are you a real gamer? Test your skillz!

2009-05-01T15:25:00.001+12:00

The Maze
The game that started all the hype! If you haven't played this game yet, you are missing out! Do not be fooled by imitators... this is the original.

www.winterrowd.com

Pig's Have Flown! Un negro no será presidente hasta que los cerdos vuelan

2009-05-01T14:39:00.006+12:00

"un negro no será presidente hasta que los cerdos vuelan" is Spanish for "a black one will not be a president until the hogs fly " or according to Google Translator "a black president will not be until pigs fly"

Well recent news tell us that Swine have flown in Mexico, which was pointed out to me by JoeSchmo, that America now has a Black President's and swine definately have flew, so this is good news for all negro people in America, but I don't think the Mexicans would be very happy about it, I bet they are beating they're pigs like Pintata's as we speak, since we all know they hate black people.

But, lets not talk about racism, because if cats aren't racist then why should we be?

Ok, so maybe cats ARE racist, but... but...

Alright fine..

Tinypic ™ - "We don't let you say Fuck"

2009-04-30T13:30:00.004+12:00

Tinypic have been labeled by Fried Pwnata's as "Stupid Assfucks".

Why you say?
Because they don't let you say fuck.

JoeSchmo was spent an eternity(lulz) making a sprite comic for one of my previous posts about Black Metalist's, anyway... he uploaded it to Tinypic.com after he finished and then he restored his computer, well it turns out the comic was deleted from the Tinypic database since it has the F word in it.

Damn you Tinydick.

/rant

assburgers syndrome.... mmk...

2009-04-28T20:20:00.002+12:00

hi... this post will be 'bout assburger syndrome.

Asperger's has become a fad for those seeking to garner attention unto themselves. In the fine, hallowed tradition of disease whores everywhere, many of today's youth expertly design a disease which kills two birds with one stone by 1) assuming others are born normal rather than work at it, giving the aspie an excuse not to make an effort to develop social skills, and 2) assuming they were born smart, rather than merely having had more exposure to books and computers because no one wanted to be around them. Interestingly, teh Aspers bucks this trend, by substituting a condition invented as a joke by an actual doctor for one created by the self-diagnosed, because teh Aspers lack imagination and are unsuited to invent their own disease like any self respecting loser would. Naturally, like any other medical condition, it is widely believed that autism can be fixed simply through heavy medications or a good slap upside the head. This belief is erroneous and experts are unanimous in their view that a bullet is only true panacea for sufferers. Experts advise that if you suffer from teh Aspers, the only plausible solution is to immediately administer a bullet to the head of the offending retard. Which is unfortunate, considering all of \b\ is cursed with Assmyburgerifyouplease and still they continue fagging up the Republican Party.

Sort Metallisk Er Det Lort

2009-04-28T13:58:00.002+12:00

From the wise council: "Despite the name, black metal is not heavy metal music made by niggers. Black metal is actually an offshoot of heavy metal that was developed at least 100 years ago in Norway by Satanist faggoths who decided that death metal wasn't gay enough. The guttural vocals of death metal were stretched to a higher pitch so that, instead of sounding like a man choking on semen, they sounded like the Wicked Witch of the West choking on semen, occasionally complemented by weak, half-assed monk chants. Typical trailer-trash metal clothes were thrown out in favor of bondage gear, black leather, spikes, and exaggerated goth facepaint that black metallers say is uniquely black metal but was actually pioneered by KISS 30 years ago. These articles are usually purchased at Hot Topic, although black metal musicians will never admit it. The irritating, grungy sound of death metal was obliterated, reduced to an equally irritating, thin screeching of tremolo picked guitars, no bass whatsoever, and helicopter drumming. Black metal lyrics have a diversity of topics from Satan to nature to Vikings to winter to Vikings in winter to Satanic nature to Satanic Vikings in winter to Satanic Vikings admiring nature in winter. Although not very popular during the genre's heyday due to the emphasis on "kvlt" (avoiding commercial success by any means possible, often by making your music suck really, really hard), it has recently become immensely popular among 13-year-old boys on the internets. "

Like it says in the title, Black Metal Is The Shit!

Well, being a Deathcore / Metalcore supporter I don't really get along with hardout Black Metalist's, well... most of the time it's because they are abusing me for listening to Suicide Silence or Carnifex because they are pussy scene deathcore, or i'm going on youtube and laughing at how lame the Norwegian black metal clips are... I mean take a look at this you will probably die of laughter and btw these are serious black metal music video's.

Why Black Metalist's are more hardcore than Metalcore / Hard Rock, etc. supporters.

They play guitar in knee deep water, now that is a great way to suicide.

They wear scary clothes and have freaky face paint.

Black metalists are given the wrong impression, they are all nice people and you are just jealous...

Black Metalists are posess many powers, they are magicians:

How to become a black metalist:

* Find friends who have long hair. If you can't,Get a trash can for the drums and $50 amp from the pawnshop and shitty electric guitar and use a Karaoke microphone.

* Form a "band", be sure to include a Christianity reference in your name.If not use this Band Name Generator

* Gangrape some nuns.

Odd World

2009-04-27T16:46:00.002+12:00

You know, from going back and forth to town and home, growing up, there are some things I have learned about people.
You have a variety of them. Jerks, bums, courteous, pushy, slow, idiotic, freaks etc.
Lol, my favorite would have to be the blowhards. I love it when I hear some douchebag kid standing in the electronics in a store, and he is rattling his jaw like he knows everything about a radio, and he is bluffing his way through after he just read the blasted info on the thing. It is so funny.
Then you have the cool walk, you know that walk where you look like a truck just ran over you and your are limping with style? Lol, that is messed up. One leg doesn't bend, and the other bends too much, heck, slap a cast on it already.
Not to bring them down, but the fat folks, they can be seriously funny. They laugh at anything, and in turn, they make an idiot out of themselves and it causes you to laugh. You hold back until you can get away. Ever been sandwiched between human walls? Marshmallow creamstyle.
Take care folks.

Call It Cracker

2009-04-25T17:46:00.002+12:00

Odd title for this post eh?
See, I have a tendency to call people a cracker to their face. No harm meant by it, it usually gets a laugh because of the way I say it. I was raised in the South, so I can put that there Redneck twang in my voice. But trust me, people think I look like an Asian for some odd reason, I am no Redneck.
The name to me in itself is funny. Just say it with some Southern style and you might get the point.
Now for some laughs. You know how a lot of black guys wear their shorts or pants down below their ugly acne smattered butts? I came up with a plan. Next time you see one, try to get a little water gun, and fill it with something like coffee and spray that moonshine. Of course, without being caught. This way, next time his shirt flaps up in the wind, he looks like he had a little, "accident." Or just throw a firecracker in there and light his ass up!.
And what is the deal with them calling each other n*****s? Heck, if I called them that, you would either see a half naked white guy running down the street, or a fight. Being my luck, I would be running by and some old fart see me and think I was streaking and here come the red and blue lights.
I have a funny story as well. My cousin and I were shopping around in the Wal-Mart some months back, and we needed to use the restroom. I had to take a dump while my cousin just needed to do number 1. (He is 13 btw) Some old guy comes in the stall next to me, and procedes to take his shoes off. I figured maybe it was a concnetration issue and taking his shoes off made him feel more at home. But then I got creeped as he proceeded to take off his pants. You can't help but see it when the stall divider is off the ground a foot. I started thinking, is he in here to pleasure himself? Or is he just that much a freak? Of course, after pants, came off the underwear. Now after being freaked out, I hadn't paid much attention to my droppage, and all of a sudden I laid the biggest fart you ever heard. It was like atomic. And I kid you not, that old dude slid his clothes right back on and got the heck out of there. I mean, I had another guy on my right, and a dude at the urinal, so I waited to get out till there were gone. I guess gas was not a good theme for him. Yay for random fart putting the breaks on a pervert!

Slipknot's new album "All Hope Is Gone" - A break from all the lulz.

2009-04-24T23:23:00.005+12:00

Alright, this post is dedicated to having a break from all the non-serious "lulz" posts, i'm gonna take this time to introduce you to the soft side of the Nu Metal band, Slipknot with a small insight on how the new album "All Hope Is Gone" impacted on fans and non-fans alike.

The New Album Release.

When the single came out, with 2 songs "Psychosocial" and "All Hope Is Gone" fans (or just me) were blown away by the heaviness in the guitaring in the All Hope Is Gone track, and with Psychosocial it was definately a great video to introduce the new masks of the band members, the song was kickass and even sounded like it had a bit of a breakdown in there somewhere, which is fuckin' awesome, and then they released the full album, and blew everyone away with their extremely soft song Snuff and other great songs like Dead Memories & Sulfur.

The New Music Video's.

Well so far there are 3 new videos for the songs Psychosocial, Dead Memories & Sulfur, I'm not to sure if they will make any more but I doubt it, here are the videos. Enjoy, and thanks for reading Fried Pwnata's.

Psychosocial: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NrO83v6X8lI&NR=1
Dead Memories: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9IixYR_p-4
Sulfur: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0922eB_Fpjg

I Am Your Future

2009-04-24T17:34:00.002+12:00

Hello to all the bloggers out there, and anyone who reads this.
Yeah, I said I am your future. Why? Because I pwn. And if you don't know what pwn means, rewind 2 years ago when it caught on. Or catch the next train to helpmeville. lol
All joking aside, I am glad to be here. I have become good friends with It Made Me, or as I call him back at Pwnem, MME.
I have been going to forums for years. My very first forum ended up being run by Brits, and good Lord were they obnoxious and rude. It is times like that, I am glad I am an American. But anyways, back at my old forums, I had a nemesis with a bad name. A really bad name. Lupus. I didn't know what it was until I had researched it, and that started it for me. I have been a jerk ever since. No no, I kid. Oooh come on stop looking at me like that. I didn't tease him, all the time. ;)
I love video games, I have been buying my own games for about 4 years. I have a Wii and I play it the most. Although I am a bit disappointed with it in terms of game selections.
I am a nice guy once you get to know me, and I have a great time back at Pwnem with all my fellow bros and h.....I better not use that word....
I am a believer in Christ, but that doesn't make me boring. Heck, I just wrote a lot and didn't realize it till now.
Cutting to the chase, you can call me Deadpool or DP, whatever you like. I am here to stay and help rock this blog.
Come on over and join me and MME at www.pwnem.com
;)
My secret eyeball of death is watching you, if you don't go to Pwnem, it will look at you, and try to be very scary in the process. Hehe.

The Truth About Jesus

2009-04-22T18:17:00.002+12:00

Jesus was a socialist Jew from England (see William Blake), who didn't live over two thousand years ago. He was featured as a Mary Sue character in a shitty Jewish slashfic called The Bible, even though all he did was troll on ppl IRL, and eventually got killed for pissing everybody off. He had many fanbois over the years, and was the inspiration for the Crusades, the Spanish Inquisition, and the Holocaust. Jesus is also personally responsible for every sports championship ever. Regardless of his existence or no, he proved to be the greatest troll to ever grace the presence of Jews, Muslims, Scientologists, Gaytheists and Fagnostics.

He was also a negro, and was in the black power.

He was also a lion!

Now this is a story all about how my Life got flipped turned upside down And I'd like to take a minute just sit right there I'll tell you how I become the prince of a town called Bethlehem In west Jerusalem born and raised On the playground is where I spent most of my days Chillin' out, maxin', relaxin', all cool And all converting some Hebrews outside of the school When a couple of guys they were up to no good They tried to nail me to a cross of wood. I got in one little fight and my mom got scared And said, "You're going on a 26 year absence somewhere” I whistled for a cab and when it came near The license plate said God and it had dice in the mirror If anything I could say that this cab was rare But I thought, "Nah, forget it. Yo home to God's heir!" I pulled up to the temple about 7 or 8 And I yelled to the cabby yo holmes smell ya later Looked at my kingdom I was finally used To sit on my throne as the prince of the Jews.

Pwnata RPG Game!

2009-04-22T13:56:00.002+12:00

Myself and my friend Cotton Face have been working on a forum with heaps of other stuff to do, such as play an RPG and even earn gold for it by posting on the forums... we are still editing the script to suit ourselves so report anything you think should be edited.

www.z3.invisionfree.com/pwnata

If you don't know what a RPG is, here's an explanation.

"RPGs or role-playing games are terms used to describe video games that require unfathomable amounts of self-loathing, body fat, and sexual abuse, but require no actual skillz other than spending hours and hours leveling up to defeat the impossible hidden boss of a gay-ass furry themed alternate universe. The main draw of RPGs is that they're supposed to put the player into the role of somebody else, meaning they're only played by those whose real life existences suck so much that they need to pretend to be someone else. "

Fried Pwnata's - Now Pwning Bebo!

2009-04-21T21:18:00.009+12:00

Yes, that is right... Pwnata is now the next hottest thing besides Emo's and ugly kids on Bebo! Well.. not really, since currently the group has 0 views, but I have sent out mass invites to over 100 people so i'm sure we'll get a few views shortly, I would appreciate your support on the group if you use Bebo, the Pwnata bebo page address is: http://www.pwnata.bebo.com/

Scary huh?

Anyway, since we are talking about Bebo I thought I'd give you a bit of a lecture about these parasite social networks, basically, the aim of Bebo is to sign up and get over 200 friends and you also have to make sure you have lots of "Luv" anything below 100 is NOOB and means your not cool or emo.

Emo's run bebo, but they are also being murdered by it... how dreadfull!

Image from Encyclopedia Dramatica.

I think when your on the verge of killing yourself over some Bebo comments, you know the addiction is deadly.

Other posts related to Bebo: Why Bebo Sucks

Postage Laughage Motangehage

2009-04-20T15:29:00.007+12:00

Posts are getting slack, and now I've been getting crap... I've even resorted to making the first sentence rhyme... what a jackass.

Anyway I want to share some gayness with you, if you like it then its not gay, but if you don't like it then it is gay.. that's how it works.

I've been harassed by an ugly Asian and a crazy African man... they're trying to force me into making a good, blog-worthy post that will make my viewers go WOW and keep returning, but i told them to get fucked...

Anyway I'm gonna recite to you a lovely story of randoms, and if you don't like it then YOU - CAN - GET - THE - FUCK - OUT!! Thanks :)

The Farmers Law
One weekend a lawyer from New York decided to go bird hunting in Vermont. The lawyer drove to Vermont and found a good hunting spot near a farm. The lawyer sees a bird, shoots it and watches fall to the ground on the other side of the barns fence.
The lawyer, thinking to himself that's my bird I have to go get it, climbs the fence retrieves the bird and climbs back. Just as he gets back over the farmer comes up to him and says, "give me my bird." The lawyer says to him " your bird no no no I shot this bird it is mine."
"No" says the farmer,"it landed on my property it is mine." "Look" says the lawyer, "I am a lawyer, I will sue you , you will lose and I will get the duck." "No" says the farmer, "that's not how we do it here in Vermont, we use the three kick rule."
"Ok" says the lawyer, how does that work?" "I kick you three times as hard as I can, than you kick me as hard as you an three time and we keep going until one of us gives up." "Fine" says the lawyer, "let's go." "I'll go first" says the famer. So the famer kicks layer as hard as he can in the groin.
And just as lawyer is bent over in pain the famer kicks him right in the face. now just as the lawyer is thinking what did IU get myself into the farmer kicks him in the stomach. after the lawyer gets over the agonizing pain he says ok now it's my turn. No the farmer says, "I quit you can have the duck." /end.of.story

KTHXBAI.

Tap.

The 5 No No's Of Life

2009-04-16T18:47:00.006+12:00

No No # 1: Laughing when a mentally retarded person comes up to you and says "HI MY NAME JEMEY!"

No No #2: Making Hitler jokes in an African History class.

No No #3: Throwing rocks at a black person on a bike... it could be your bike afterall.

No No #4: Making racist jokes when your the only white person around.

No No #5: Fuck, I dunno... here's a image.

FUNNEH LULZ GOVEDRNMENT

2009-04-15T12:50:00.002+12:00

SOCIALISM:You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM:You have 2 cows. The state takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM:You have 2 cows, the State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM:You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

BUREAUCRATISM:You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, then throws the milk away...

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION:You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION:You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'cowkimon' and market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION:You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION:You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION:You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity, and execute the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION:You have two cows. You worship them.

IRAQI CORPORATION:Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none...No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invaid your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.

WELSH CORPORATION:You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive.

A BRITISH CORPORATION:You have two cows.The Government says you have to buy a license to milk them, but first you have to do a risk assessment which only the government Quango is allowed to carry out. They charge you 5 times the cost of doing it. They find that the three legged stool is a risk under health and safety. You have to buy the EC approved 5 legged stool that is designed to support a milk maid of up to 250 kilos. It, however, is too heavy to carry. The stool exceeds EC weight lifting limits for workers by 4 kilos which just happens to be the weight of the fifth leg. To shift the stool from one cow to the other you therefore need a special (EC approved) trolley. The new stool and the trolley are so expensive that you have to morgage one of the cows to pay for them and pay for the mandatory training course you must take to get your license to milk the cows. You sell your milk to the supermarket chain that pays you bugger all for it, and then they sell it to their customers for four times what they paid you. Then they realease a statement on how wonderful they are to support British cows. The rest of the world thinks your cows are mad but you and your cows know that it is not true and anyway the rest of da world haveno intention of identifying and counting their mad cows so people in other countries don't know their cows are really, really barmy do they? You sell your cows to a Polish immigrant worker and your farm to a 'Russian investment bank,' and then you leave to buy a villa by the sea in a country where it is sunny and the cost of milk is a tenth the cost of milk at home. They don't have a National Health Service...... but you are so happy and relaxed your health improves and live to be a hundred.

AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION:You have two cows. Buisiness seems pretty good. You close the officer and go for a few beers to celebrate.

SURREALISM:You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

Habbo Hotel Pwnz!

2009-04-15T01:19:00.000+12:00

Here's what they do for extreme fun: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jG09Paa0ZOI

My thoughts: GTFO!

Why Bebo Sucks (comic)

2009-04-14T13:30:00.000+12:00

Anarchism: The most progressive and promising thing ever!

2009-04-12T15:26:00.000+12:00

Everyone knows that Anarchy will work in replacement of Government, I mean... of course the world will run smoothly in the hands of savage 15 year old Anarchists.

Your spokesmans, but really he would be the fuckin' leader (not that Anarchists would say that)

Here's who would replace your President:

You would get a awesome new flag (made in MSPaint)

Woman will rule your lives, calling someone black would be punishable by death and as a white person you will be the dirt of the world because Hitler and George Bush were white so of course every white person is bad too, how awesome is that omg!

This will happen to your white face daily!

You will no longer have the white house or parliament buildings, because they have been replaced with demonstrations!

So, why not take up Anarchism, it be great for your self-esteem, well-being and the world!

FACEPALM
Because expressing how dumb that was in words just doesn't work.

Dub Tee Efff is a Fried Pwnata?

2009-04-11T17:07:00.001+12:00

Its kinda simple you ass.

Its one of these + the fried. But in Indian I think they pronounce it Pinata, or Mexican, not to sure, I really can't tell them apart... yeah, so Pwnata is just a cheap n00by word that is actually meant to mean Pinata, but since Pwn is the coolest word in the world that when spelt looks like it could sound like Pin, thus I made it Pwnata so I would become 15% cooler on the webs.

NO, NO, WAIT!

I found Mr. Fried Pwnata Santa Man.

Notice for yo data!

2009-04-11T17:03:00.001+12:00

In no way is this blog affiliate to PwnEm, and PwnEm does not write this stuff from own eyes. This is all work of brainy MME, not pwnems.

So if there is anything you dislike or find offensive about this blog, take it up with me over Msn (netenmitten@eml.cc) or we can duel for life in a Soldat deathmatch.

Register To Soldat

2009-04-10T20:13:00.000+12:00

Look in "mah links" at the top of this page.

Don't fuck with god, or bears will eat you

2009-04-10T16:44:00.001+12:00

Bible Verse: "From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some youths came out of the town and jeered at him. "Go on up, you baldhead!" they said. "Go on up, you baldhead!" He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the LORD. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled 42 of the youths."

We've all been there. You're walking along, minding your own business, when a gang of cocky, young bastards start hurling abuse at you. Most of us would just keep walking, or maybe, yell some insults back or flip them the bird. Elisha (commonly regarded as the Luke Skywalker to the Prophet Elijah's Obi-Wan Kenobi), however, decides to take it one step further. Invoking the name of God, he summons motherfucking bears to come and claw the shit out of them.
Christians are constantly asking for prayer in schools to help get today's kids in line, but we beg to differ. We need bears in schools. If every teacher had the power to summon a pair of child-maiming grizzly avengers, you can bet that schoolchildren nowadays would be the most well-behaved, polite children, ever. It's a simple choice: listen to the biology lesson, or get first-hand knowledge of the digestive system of Ursus horribilis.

Religion lulz

2009-04-10T16:29:00.000+12:00

The worst religion is the popular one... and people that beleive that what they preach must be correct just because they have 100 million members and a early morning tv show. The Old King James is said to be the closest bible to the Dead Sea Scrolls, so why do we need hundreds of edited ones? and besides, can you really truly beleive something this touchy when it has been edited by a human? like it says in the bible, man is not perfect, so how can a bible that a man writes be true?

BIBLE IS 4 NUB.

So, lets watch some BABALITY!

ZOMG ZOMG ZOMG

2009-04-10T12:21:00.000+12:00

Prison officers at a youth jail failed to investigate many allegations of racism because they dismissed them as troublemaking by ethnic minority inmates, a public inquiry has heard.
The former deputy governor of Feltham young offenders institution, Peter Windsor, said allegations of racism were regarded as nothing more than insults by prison staff.
Mr Windsor admitted there was considerable naivety among staff at the jail, where 19-year-old Zahid Mubarek was murdered by his racist cellmate, in their handling of race relations.
Appearing yesterday at the inquiry into the Asian teenager's death, the former deputy governor said staff treated allegations of racism in the same way as prisoners shouting four-letter words out of their cell windows.
There were "probably many" racial incidents that were treated "as just being insulting" and not investigated, he added.
Mr Windsor said prisoners appeared to make accusations of racism against fellow inmates or staff to try to damage their reputation or undermine their authority.

Anonymous Remailers lulz

2009-04-09T16:52:00.001+12:00

These are the 2 remailers i use.

http://secret101.com/anonymous101/anon6.htm

&

http://gilc.org/speech/anonymous/remailer.html

Here is another useful link that will show you what kind of information about you is attached to your message in the form of email headers.
http://www.emailprivacy.info/test_your_email

Musiks i like.

2009-04-09T12:27:00.000+12:00

View it now pl0x.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NU7h9Kq8COc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LD7olfFlGEI

WoW - The online crack cocaine

2009-04-09T12:15:00.000+12:00

lmao, silly little WoW players...

Why do people play this game? As a way to simulate achievement that they cannot get IRL 99.9% of the time this is true.

Personally, I fuckin' hate WoW for the fact that it ruins lives... i read on ihatewow.tribe.com that it's even ruined marriages, I mean who would give up a marriage for a pathetic game that leaves you with no real accomplishments and no real friends.

This discussion was made on PwnEm, view it here

Laterz.

Gay people and eminem

2009-04-09T10:24:00.000+12:00

Who gives a fuck about your thug life...

I totally don't like Eminem... i think the Eminem Is A Wigger song by ICP was a great awakening for some people, because Eminem truly is a wigger.

Your average Eminem fan is either retarded or lost... here is what an average true Eminem fan looks like:

Because he has a wife named Kim to.

NS KID SAYS GTFO!!!

Friendly Directions, m8

2009-04-08T13:33:00.001+12:00

The WTF LOL of the month!

..... need i say anything?

Inf_Mmemap - In progress

2009-04-08T13:28:00.000+12:00

I'm currently working on an Infiltration map for Soldat... it will be a small inf map, with the Arena style. Check back soon for d/l

इ'म कर्रेंत्ली वोर्किंग ओं अ इन्फिल्त्रेशन मैप विथ अ अरेना स्टाइल... थे राव मैप इस मेड इ'वे जुस्त गोत तो वर्क ओं थे स्सनेरी एंड दो सम तौच उपस.

NINTENDOcore...

2009-04-08T13:07:00.000+12:00

HEAVY METAL MUSIKZ 4 GEEKS!

Chak it out!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkL0iGn8emw

OM NOM NOM - Reunion special

2009-04-08T12:49:00.000+12:00

The world is now at the mercy of the mighty Om Nom's... people and other things are being Om Nom'd left right and centre.

VICTIMS OF OM NOM NOMAGE1!!

They are even Om Nom Noming babies now...

Horses...

Golf balls...

Chav's...

Cars...

If you've experience Om Nom Nom please call our support hotline at 190059128248093

First post lulz!!!

2009-04-07T20:49:00.000+12:00

Hey I got the first post... oh wait it's my blog, anyway... this reminded me of a great picture I have stored on the pc... take a look: